I’v been wOndrin’ arOund.. aGain… thingking whY can’t he fOllow suCh simplesT instrUctiOns in life…?!!! ol i’m askiN’ frOm hiM is to be veRy caReful with his wOrds of mouTh…!~! like is it so0 hard to understand thAt i don’T wanna reCeive any pRomisses unless it is well ensUred that the pRomise will be kepT….! thaT’s all im askin’ for…

Assurance that whenEver he’ll utteR a word, he must makE sure that he could and he woulD make It hapPen…!! just that! so0 siMple…! yet i was always been disSapointed…… it’s just that iT suckS to waiT for somebody who prOmised somethin’ at me, then would Turn out to be One big tAlk freak persOn who can’t even stand up foR his own words….! whO can’t even leave up on his promise…!!!

Then what, i’ll heAr words again, sucH as i’m ovah dramatic and Emo…. likE i was the oNe wHo can’t understand the siTuation, like i was ovah demanDing…???

Well, i wouldn’t Act all that soRts if he wouldn’t giVe me reasOns to act so0….!!! ryt?! what if, he’ll stop promissin’ stuFfs unless his well sure off…. then mayBe i’ll stop complaining…!!! make sense ryt? i jUst want to have an assuRance in this world… how can y0u have that secUrity if with just one simple pRomise.. he can’t even manage to do it…? be cAreful with yer w0rds… with yeR pr0misses….

Cause it hUrts me like hell…!!!

in this world… life gets to be complicated by circumstances that we can’t really avoid!!! someh0w in ma thoughts…. i neEd thoz complications to meAsure ma strength… ma paTients… ma UndeRstanDing… and m0st of all…. ma trUst….!

it was really hard to feEl unease wiTh what y0u have rty now… there came a poinT wheRe even if y0u have str0ng faith….. doubTs knock at ouR do0r and we cn’t heLp it but to let doubts come in…. and eventually mess everythin’  we haVe..! so y not just sit at the cOrner and ignore everythin’ that speaks in yer mind… let go, calm yerself and pray…. then you’ll get the ansWers yer seArching f0r..!

but still, there are tyms that we receive no answers… maybe its n0t yet tym to clear things out… coz ya haven’t learned enuf….

n0w im wondrin’ "have i learned enuf..? or shud i take exams again and eventually fails it?" what if i fail?…. will i be able to overcome it again?…. can i stand the pity again or will i collapsed all broken out?…..  i guesS what im saying is dat… " every princess, though reSt assuRed  still looks for an assUrance  in her life…"  somethin’ that dealS with Security and confidence that No matter what happened… "the princess won’t be left out in a dungen… with no one to be with.." cold and tear apart…..!

all ma life, i’v beEn tryn’ to figure out what  went wr0ng with ma life..?  all i want is to be hapPy……  all i longed for is a security… somethin’ that not just words but with actions included…

the princess still believes and still holds On to the faith… to the pr0mise kept……. juSt pr0ve yerself that the princess w0n’t be "hurt" again…! she’s now in trauma… yet she’s tryin’ t0 conquer it just t0 prove herself t0 y0u…… take out ma fears……. giv’me the assurance and i’ll be y0urs forever….